Bait Novel 56
"You're always short of saying something really f****g s***id, Jonas," I turn away from how serious he is.
He laughs leaning into me and turns my head enough to look down at his mark. I shiver when he licks me. I try really hard not to show him how my body responds to him, but my skin breaks out in goosebumps.
"Isn't that what brought us together, Little Wolf? The sheer st***y of our actions?" he presses against me hard. "My words are just as s**** as you wearing this red dress," his fingertips slowly move down the front of my body. He takes the golden collar around my neck and lifts it. "Red and gold are your colors, Pernicious. I don't know what I was thinking with the white gold. You're not a little princess, are you? You're just as bad as we are," "Don't make this weird, Jonas," I whisper.
"Mm," he laughs. "This got weird the moment we bonded. We're both just too stubborn to acknowledge it," "You're a piece of shit," I sigh.
There's really nothing I can do but let him fall deeper into this hole he's digging himself. I can easily acknowledge that he's lost his f*** mind. That he thinks I feel the same way he does. I don't, but there is a pleasing reassurance in knowing that when I am gone this thing that is killing whatever is left of my soul will never have peace again.
He grips my face with one hand and makes me look at him. His lips press against mine. When I don't respond the way he wants me to he squeezes my side hard enough to make me growl at him and the a***le takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. This did get weird when we bonded because of how similar we are in our self-destruction. Our contempt for anything that bonds us to outside sources. Our need to please those we failed and those who are no longer with us. We can pretend there is hope for either of us in moments like this, but we both know there isn't. Not for me, my minutes are ticking down rapidly and his pain is only beginning.
I give him what he wants and we end up in the back seat.
96
"You're just going to walk around like this all day?" he growls sliding my dress up to reveal a whole lot of nothing. "Not the first time," I shrug.
Before he continues, I push him back and turn to face out the windshield so I don't have to look at him. As if it'll somehow change the fact that we're both becoming co-dependent on the other for different reasons. I let him f***k me ashamed to acknowledge the fact that I missed him. His voice, the sounds he makes when he's inside of me, the way he touches me like I'm going to disappear suddenly.
I've done a lot of f***d up s***it in my life, but this takes the crown. I've betrayed everything I believe in. My body and soul. I've handed them over with no regard for consequences like I've done many times before.
The difference between this and everything other thing I've done is that I'll never be ashamed of those things. They meant something to me. To those I loved. This doesn't mean s***t to me but this is the hill I chose to die on and no matter the outcome. I'll never forgive myself. I hope that his mother erases me the way she did his mate. I pray to their goddess for it. I deserve to be forgotten. It's the last thing I wish to take with me to the grave. A whole lot of nothing.Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
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