Unwanted Heat

Kenzie

My apartment is beginning to look like a florist shop! Nicholas has been sending me flowers every day this week; each beautiful floral arrangement comes with the same card that reads “I’m sorry; call me.” If I knew what to say to him, I would call him. If I thought he knew what he was apologizing for, I would call him. I don’t think he understands how or why what he did upsets me. Hell, I don’t fully understand myself why it bothered me so much. I’ve been trying to figure that out all week. On one hand, I can see why maybe he felt obligated to pay me. That was after all what our arrangement has been up until this weekend: it’s been about him paying me for my time. Granted the payment was sent through Bridget, but the premise still remains-he paid for my time. On the other hand though, I felt like that weekend went far beyond the arrangement we had until that point. We got to know each other on a much more personal level. Maybe that wasn’t how he viewed the weekend?

I haven’t spent any real time completely alone with a man in more than two years. When I left him that night, I swore I would never place myself at risk again. That I would never trust a man that much ever again, which meant that I would never be completely alone with one. It was one of my initial concerns I brought up with Bridget when she first approached me about signing a contract.

I refused to meet with him alone in his office or go on business trips with someone until I felt comfortable with him. Yet, thinking back to the conversation with Vivienne and Carter, none of those thoughts ever impacted my decision to stay the weekend with Nicholas. What’s more surprising though is that at no point did I feel unsafe or at risk being alone with Nicholas. Maybe it was because I knew that Hunter was nearby…

Beep beep beepContent from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

My alarm goes off, quickly pulling me from my thoughts. I’ve been up for a few hours already. After waking up at four every morning this week, my body seems to just wake up at that time naturally. I wasn’t originally scheduled to work today… in fact I was kind of looking forward to having a day off since I’ve been working every day this week. Unfortunately, one of the new girls that Ginny hired needed to change her schedule today, so Ginny asked me to work a few hours. The only nice thing was I didn’t need to be at the bakery until ten, meaning I could have slept a while longer. Of course my body decided I still needed to be awake at four in the morning, so I’ve been lying here in this incredibly soft bed for the last few hours, trying to figure out what to do about our situation.

Bridget called me yesterday and gave me the schedule for the next two weeks; Nicholas apparently has a few events he needs to attend that he has asked for me to accompany him. I was surprised that he was still requesting me. When I first saw her name appear on my caller ID, I just assumed she was calling to let me know that Nicholas had decided to terminate our arrangement. In the split second before I answered the call, I started panicking about where I was going to live. In fact, that thought hasn’t been far from my mind all week.

Thankfully, because I haven’t been paying rent, I’ve been able to save a decent amount of money that I’ve received from Bridget. I probably have enough that now I could afford the security deposit and first month’s rent on a decent apartment. My concern though is how I would maintain that apartment once my savings account dried up. I don’t want to go back to the shitty apartment or one like it that I rented before. I want to live in a place that I feel safe walking into without worrying about people getting drunk or high on my front steps.

Beep beep beep

My alarm reminds me that I really need to get out of bed and get ready for my shift at the bakery today. I’m only going in for a few hours so afterwards I plan to get caught up on laundry and maybe do some shopping for the events Bridget called me about.

I still have to figure out what to do about Nicholas… I know I need to talk to him but I don’t know how to explain why he hurt me. I guess it bothered me the most because I trusted him in spending that much time alone with him yet I didn’t feel that he trusted me. Trust isn’t the right word; of course he trusted me-why wouldn’t he?

Now that I think more about it, I may have overreacted to what he did. Clearly he didn’t see our arrangement as anything but a contract and he was acting out part of that contract by offering me money. I overreacted because clearly I thought the weekend was about more than the contract. I thought we were developing a friendship and that he would see that I offered to stay with him because we were friends and not because of a contract. Realizing I overreacted, I vow to call Nicholas as soon as I back to the apartment this afternoon. I don’t know exactly what I will say but I

know I need to apologize to him.

I quickly jump in the shower and get ready for work. It’s really warm out today, so warm that I wish I could wear shorts to work but of course that isn’t safe or acceptable at the bakery. Instead I’m stuck wearing jeans and the bakery t shirt with the store’s logo on it.

I love that my apartment has a balcony on it; it’s convenient to be able to step outside in the morning and have a cup of coffee.

Knock knock

“Good morning Hunter,” I greet him at the door after setting the alarm and grabbing my purse.

“Good morning Ms. Rose, how are you?” he asks.

“Are you ever going to call me Kenzie?” I’ve requested he drop the Ms. Rose many times but he never does.

“Probably not,” he chuckles.

“Of course not,” I laugh at his admission. “I’m only working until one today, but then I need to do some shopping this afternoon. I’m thinking of stopping back at here for lunch and then maybe going shopping if you are available?”

“Of course Ms. Rose. I have the car ready for us downstairs.”

“I thought we would walk today since I’m not going in til later?” Hunter doesn’t think it’s safe to be walking just the couple of blocks to the bakery in the wee hours of the morning so we have been driving.

“I’m sorry, I forgot you wanted to walk. I need to drop off something on our way back from the bakery which is in the car. If you want to walk I can always come back here-”

“No of course not, Hunter. We can drive.”

While Hunter maneuvers through the city traffic, I take out my phone and read through the latest headlines. Even though I have the alerts set on my phone for anything related to Nicholas, I still search his name on the internet since I haven’t received anything recently. There is no reference of our attendance at the awards dinner which doesn’t surprise me because it was a very small event. I think it worked out well that there was no press, there considering how sick Nicholas was that evening. The last thing he would need is to have the press get a picture of him leaving the dinner ill. I’m sure they would have had a field day with that.

“Hunter, where are we going? This isn’t the usual route,” I look out the window observing where we are. I don’t recognize the buildings on this street and it seems like we are heading in the opposite direction of the bakery.

“Yes… about thirty to forty minutes out depending on traffic.

Yes… I understand,” Hunter says into an earpiece.

“Hunter?” I ask when he seems to have ended the call. “I think the bakery is that way.”

“It is, ma’am.”

“Where are we going?” Now I’m getting nervous… Up until now I’ve trusted Hunter; the ride to the bakery in the morning takes less than seven minutes so I haven’t considered the situation a risk. However, his actions this morning have me doubting my own judgment. I’m seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack… I can’t believe that I trusted a man again. I never thought Hunter would do something but what if-

“I have been instructed to bring you to a location where we will meet Mr. Parker and Carter.”

“What? Where are we meeting them?”

“I’m not at liberty to tell you, ma’am.”

“You’re not at liberty? What if I refuse to go? You can’t just take me there against my will!” My breathing is increasing, my heart is racing, I can feel the walls pushing in. I need to get out of the car. I need to take control back… I’m too out of control. I try opening the car door, but it is locked, despite me hitting the unlock button multiple times.

“Ms. Rose… Ms.-KENZIE!” Hunter calls my name loudly. My eyes meet his in the rear view mirror. “If you don’t want to go, I will turn around and we can go back to your apartment. Please do not try to jump out of the car. You’ll hurt yourself and Mr. Parker will fire me if you do that!” “Where… where are we going?” I ask.