Scream For me

JADE

I thought knew a thing or two about cookingI could do some simple things like boil pasta and make scrambled eggs. I wasn’t the worst, but I

sucked in the kitchen compared to Aaron. That man could cook.

He made Chicken Parmesan as if it was normal to be able to do that.

“If I could make that, I’d never stop eating it,” I said when he finally took it out of the oven, and divine smells filled the kitchen.

Aaron chuckled. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Boy, was he wrong? Aaron was already hot-as-fuck. He had the tall-dark and handsome thing going. He was stinking rich. He had the attitude of a man who knew his worth, and now he could cook on top of it all.

I didn’t want to say it out loud because not only would it have been inappropriate, it would have made me sound like a teenager with a crush.

I wasn’t a teenager with a crush.

Or at least…I wasn’t a teenager.

We dished food onto plates, and Aaron poured us a glass of wine each. We carried our meals to the dining room table. One of his house staff had stoked a fire in the hearth in the open plan living-dining room, and it was romantic and warm when a storm raged outside.

“Do the staff have to travel back in this weather?” I asked.

Aaron shook his head. “I sent the extra staff home and asked only a few to stay. They’re on the property, tucked safely into their cabins. I sent them out early. We’ll have to rough it for tonight.” He smirked at me.

I glanced around the luxurious lodge-like dwelling, the huge fireplace, and the fur rugs…nothing about this place suggested we were “roughing it” just because we didn’t have room service.

“Are you worried about Ben?” I asked when Aaron checked his phone for the umpteenth time.

“Yeah,” he said. “Is it that obvious? I’m a control freak.”

I shook my head. “You’re not a control freak at all. You’re a concerned parent. You care about him and where he is. Not enough people are like that these days.”

“You think so?” Aaron asked. “I guess you see all kinds of people in your job.”

I nodded. It wasn’t a lie that I came across all kinds of people in my job, even though it wasn’t quite like Aaron thought.

“I think it’s great how you’re so invested in him. You’ll give up everything for him if you have to.”

Aaron nodded and popped a square piece of chicken into his mouth after he cut it. “I’ll give it all up,” he said around his food before he swallowed. “And it terrifies me.”

“Why?” I asked and looked up at him. I chewed on the perfectly cooked asparagus with sesame seeds and avocado oil. I’d always thought Olivia was the only cook in the world who could convince me to eat asparagus, but here I was, chewing away at the stuff because Aaron’s food was so damn good.

Before glancing at me, he pushed his food around his plate.

“I feel like I already gave it all up for him, and somehow, it’s never enough. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m trapped. When I’m away from him, I want to be with him. It’s this crazy ride where I chose to raise him, and now…it’s not that I regret it. It’s just…” he let out a deep breath, billowing his cheeks. “It’s not always as easy as they make it sound.” “Who’s they?” I asked.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Aaron shrugged. “People.”

I grinned at him despite the seriousness of the conversation. It sounded exactly like the many conversations Olivia and I have had together.

“I think it’s supposed to be hard,” I offered. “If it’s easy, you’re doing something wrong. You’re invested, you care, and you give up parts of yourself so he’ll be okay. That counts for something. That means you’re a good dad, but I don’t think it will ever be easy.”

“I just wish I had help sometimes, you know,” Aaron said. “I wouldn’t change a thing. I love Ben to death and would never wish him away. I just don’t always want to be the only one.” He thought about it for a moment. “It’s not that I don’t feel like I’m getting help from you,” he added quickly.

“I just”

“I get it,” I said. “A nanny isn’t the same as a mother.”

Aaron nodded. “Yeah.” He took another bite, and we sat in silence for a moment before he spoke again.

“No doubt, Carol told you about how Ben and I came to be.”

I swallowed hard and nodded, feeling guilty that we’d been gossiping, although I hadn’t exactly tried to pry.

“I think what you did is brave,” I said. “And noble. You stepped up to the plate when no one else did, and it’s not an easy thing to do.”

“Everyone tells me how brave I was,” Aaron said dully. “No one tells me that it might have been stupid.”

“It wasn’t.”

Aaron nodded. “I just wish I could give him more, you know?”

“I think every parent feels that way, but he won’t miss what he doesn’t know. Isn’t that how it goes?”

“Maybe…I just don’t know. I guess we’ll find out one day if I did a good job when we see what kind of man he turns out to be.” “I can already see what man he’ll be,” I said.

Aaron looked up at me with questions in his eyes.

“A man just like his father. He already has the right foundation. He’s compassionate and open to others, he sees things, and he thinks his choices through. He isn’t difficult or spoiled, even though he easily could be. He’s a good kid. That’s thanks to you.”

Aaron shook his head, and I struggled to decipher the expression that crossed his features before he pushed it away again.

“What about you?” he asked.

I stilled. “What about me?”

“Do you want kids one day?”

The question was out of the blue. “Yeah, I think so. I haven’t gotten that far. I’m still trying to figure out where my life is headed, never mind a husband and kids. I thought I had it all figured out once upon a time, but I was wrong.”

I told Aaron about my modeling career and how it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t like how everything was rushed, how my appearance meant everything, how I started worrying about every wrinkle, every pound, every little thing that wasn’t perfect.

“Now, I’m working for Placement while I try to figure out my life,” I said. “And I’m terrified that I’ll never get to that point. I feel so lost sometimes. I feel like I should be better and more put together at this point in my life, which is crazy because it’s the same feeling I was trying to get away from when I left modeling.”

The wine made me truthful, and I drained the last bit of my glass.

Aaron got up and offered to pour me more. I wanted to say no, at first, but then I realized there was no reason not to. We were already talking about serious things, I’d said more than I’d meant to, and it wasn’t like I

had to drive home after this.

Aaron suggested we move to the living room, and I curled up on the couch with my wine in hand, tucking my feet underneath me.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Aaron said.

I looked up at him over the rim of my wineglass and took a sip. “You’re not the first person to tell me that.”

“You just haven’t found where you belong yet. That doesn’t mean you failed. It just means that you’re still waiting to start your race.” “It’s such a forgiving way of looking at it,” I said.

“There’s nothing to forgive. You’re free to do just what you want.” Aaron shifted a little closer. “Don’t let your expectations trip you up. You are your own worst enemy.”

I studied Aaron. He was so different than I’d thought at first. I’d thought he was a pain, a grumpy man who got what he wanted and to hell with everything else. He was nothing like that. He was a nice guy who had a lot to deal with in his life.

The wind howled outside, and the storm grew thicker, still. Inside, it was cozy and warm, and I felt sheltered, not only from the storm but from my life out there. Here, we were completely removed from it.

Aaron leaned a little closer. I relished in the warmth radiating from him.

He hooked a stray hair behind my ear.

“I love your hair up like this,” he said softly.

“Yeah?” I touched my hand to my ponytail. “I love your hair any way you wear it.” I smiled and blushed lightly.

The wine ran through my veins, making my skin burn hot, and the warmth ran through my body, pooling between my legs. I tried to push it away. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything for Aaron. I wasn’t supposed to want him as much as I did.

Aaron reached behind my head and pulled my scrunchie out so that my hair fell loose around my shoulders. He ran his fingers through it. His eyes locked on mine.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not fighting it anymore,” he said.

“Why?” I asked. My throat was dry.

“Because I’ve been pushing myself away for so long, giving everyone else what they need, I decided it’s time to be a little selfish. I want you.”

“Aaron,” I started. I had all the reasons lined up for why this wouldn’t work. He was my boss. I was his employee. I was lying to him about who I was, on top of it all. He had Ben. He needed someone in his life who had their shit more together than I did. He was Aaron Steele, one of Seattle’s most eligible bachelors, and I was just…me.

What about the fact that Aaron didn’t hold on to a girl for very long? What if, after all this, he just discarded me?

I had a long list of reasons I had to pull away and stop this, but when his eyes locked on mine, his fingers tightened in my hair, and he leaned forward to kiss me, the list was forgotten.

I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feel of his lips against mine. His tongue slid into my mouth, tasting and probing. I cupped his cheek, and he groaned, the sound an incredible turn-on.

“You’re fucking amazing,” Aaron murmured between our kisses. “When

I met you, I thought you were a fraud.”

I stiffened. “A fraud?”

He nodded. “Someone who just pretended…wearing a mask so that I would see what you wanted me to see. This is all you, though. I’ve come to realize that, and I like what I see, Jade. I like you. A lot.”

My stomach twisted and turned. I had to tell him that I was a fraud. Maybe not in the way he’d thought, but I was still a frauda woman without any reference or nanny experience, a cheat who’d taken a job because I’d screwed up.

Would he forgive me? Was it a very big deal now that he was happy with how I treated Ben?

“I have something I need to tell you,” I said.

“Later,” Aaron said, planting kisses all over my face.

“I just want to”

“I said later, Jade,” Aaron said, nuzzling my neck. “We have more than enough time the rest of this week to talk all you want. I just want to not talk right now.”

He cupped my breast, and I gasped. His mouth worked magic on my neck as he nibbled and licked the delicate skin, his large hand kneading and massaging my breast, working me into a frenzy.

He tugged at the hem of my sweater, and I lifted my arms. He pulled it over my head.

“I hate layers,” he muttered. “I want you naked.” He pulled up my shirt, too.

I thought I would be cold without my clothes, but I wasn’t. My skin burned hot, and I felt feverish with lust.