Pregnant For My Bully

Amelia Forbes

I shook my head vigorously over and over again as I stared at my reflection. I’d been standing in the bathroom for more than thirty minutes-the pregnancy tester I’d gotten from a store across the street clutched in my right hand.

I remembered the nasty look the lady at the counter had given me as she tossed the tester into a plastic bag, murmuring something about 16 year old sluts.

I shook my head once more. I was just really tense. I can’t be pregnant.

Relax, Mel. It’s just a false alarm. The changes in your body are as a result of stress. Breathe.

Already having previous information about what single and double lines meant, I settled down and peed on it.

In the few minutes it took to show the result, I wiped my hands on my jeans. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. A hormone thing.

After a few minutes of waiting, I let out a shaky breath and looked down at the plastic I held in my hand.

“No!” I screamed, feeling my throat constrict.

“This has to be wrong. It has to. . .” I shook my head. More furious now I took out the second one and peed again. A few minutes later, the result was still the same.

I let out a confused gasp accompanied by hyperventilation and a stream of tears.

“What did I do to deserve all this?!” I screamed to the empty bathroom.

“It’s bad enough that I got brutally raped by a bully who hates me for no reason. . .” I trailed off, the pain choking me. “Now I’m pregnant for him as well? Life is playing one hell of a prank on me!”

I felt my shoulders fall as I slumped to the floor. It was getting harder to breathe.

“I wish I’d died with Mom and Dad in the car that day.”

I looked up at the ceiling, anger beginning to surge through me. “Why didn’t you let me die too!” The tears leaked from my eyes and down to the front of my shirt.

With all the shit going on right now, I’d be better off dead. I was going to have to live with this pain. . . this shame, for the rest of my life.

The rest of my life.

No.

I was panicking now.

I’d rather die than let this burden Jason had forcefully placed on me grow. Carrying a baby fathered by Jason Davenport inside me.

That heartless asshole.

And I thought he’d ruined my life already. I guess when it comes to me bad things have a way of becoming ten times worse.

What would Nana say? Everyone who knew me? How would I explain this?

Fresh tears began to fill my eyes.

I can’t do this. I can’t. . .

Exams were coming up really soon. If the school found out about this, I’d be disgraced, shamed. They wouldn’t even let me write my final exams.

And Nana. I could already see the disappointment in her eyes. I took in a sharp breath and I began to cough heavily, tears soaking my cheeks.

God, please. I need to wake up from this nightmare. I need to wake up.

Splashing cold water on my face, my mind began to race. What I had to do right now, for my career, my future, for clean records, was to keep the baby a secret.

Yes. No one should find out. It would ruin a lot of things for good.

I wiped my eyes with my sleeves, beginning to run up a plan in my head.

“I could get a job, save up, just enough to take me to a different state. Somewhere I could remove the baby. . .”

Remove. Abort.

Something heavy kicked in my chest.

No, Mel. Pregnancy out of wedlock is the worst thing. And it’s a rape. Removing the baby is probably the best thing to do.

I nodded, desperate to convince myself. But with the way my hands were shaking I knew deep in my heart that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take an innocent life.

I buried my head in my hands. I was scared, confused, but most of all, I was tired.

For a second, I thought of telling Jason. It was his baby as well and he was supposed to take responsibility for it as well.

But I knew it was no use. He didn’t give two fucks about me so why would he care about a baby who for all he cared wasn’t his.

I used to be terrified of Jason, baffled about why he hated me so much. But now, all I felt was hate.

Hate fueling on and on like a volcano.

Someone like him who was supposed to be irrelevant to me was making such life-changing impacts on my life. He’d completely ruined my life. And I hated him for that.

I straightened up and found my way back into my room, swinging my wardrobe open and rummaging through it for a clothing item.

Finding it, I straightened out the corset-like tummy belt I’d gotten a year ago because I’d been insecure about my stomach but I’d never gotten round to wearing.

If I was going to keep this pregnancy a secret, I was going to have to do it right. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with the baby later on. But for now, I needed to study and pass my exams, be free of high school with excellent grades and a clean record.

And everything would be okay. Everything would be fine.

Just 3 months and 5 days to go. And everything would be okay.

I ran my hand through my abdomen as I fastened on the belt and observed myself in the mirror.

A sudden surge of self hate flowing through me, I adjusted it even tighter.

It has to be flat enough. No one could know.

Tighter.

I let out a sharp gasp from the pain. Breathing deeply, I mentally reminded myself of why I needed to do the things I was doing right now. Take the pain.

“You’ll be okay,” I whimpered, knowing fully well that I was lying to myself.Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

I clutched the sides of my stomach right before I collapsed into another pool of tears.