Forty Eight
Joe and Billy moved fast behind her. Ash took slow steps toward her, his arms wide, and his hands up.
“Come near me and you’ll regret it!” she hissed the words at Ash with such venom it stopped him dead in his tracks.
“Lee, you need to calm down,” he said it slow as if he were talking to an infant.
“You knew about me, my dad, my family and you kept it from me! You know exactly how much pain it caused me.” She turned to him, she forgot she loved him, she forgot the fear of losing him, and all she wanted was to attack him, rip his heart out and shred it just like they’d done to hers.
“It wasn’t the right time-” he managed to get out before she cut him off.
“Give me that bullshit about the right time again and I swear…” She felt a rumble deep inside her.
Ash inched closer to her. “It wasn’t my place.”
It irritated her how calm he was.
“It was your place! As the man I love, it was your place! As the man who claimed to love me, it was your place!” She moved closer to him, she could feel the anger build inside her, flowing through her veins and into every part of her. She didn’t recognize this side of herself, but she had no intentions of stopping her.
“Lee, calm down.” He took a step closer.
If she were to swing, she would hit him in his jaw and hopefully break it and stop all the lies coming out of his mouth.
“Calm down? Is that all you are going to say? Calm down!” Her voice was dangerously low. She felt another rumble in her, but it was heavier. Her arms were wide at her sides and her fingers were spread out. She was ready to knock that calm out of his face.
In a blink, Ash had her in his arms. He held them tight around her in a lock, pinning her arms down. She struggled, trying to get free but he wouldn’t budge.
“Let go of me, Ash!” she yelled, pushing her weight back against him. But he stayed steady on his feet, his arms locked around her tighter.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.
“You need to calm down.” His voice was soft but demanding. He bent his head down and put his cheek against hers. She turned away from him, trying to get her face as far away from him as possible, but he only moved his closer, pinning her head against his shoulder.
Her new precious dreams began filling her head replacing the images of the slaughter. The love in those images soothed her, her rigid body relaxed. She was sobbing, all the anger gone.
Ash was now gently rocking them, whispering in her ear in Spanish-his love language, she could feel the love in the words as he whispered them over and over again in her ear. The only words she understood were mi amor, he had said them to her so many times it was hard not to recognize them.
“Please let go of me.” Her voice felt spongy.
Dave walked in front of them and looked into her tear filled eyes. He nodded at Ash and took a step back. Ash let her lose. He turned her to face him. Before he could say anything, she raised her shaky hand up to stop him. She took several steps back so that she could be out of his reach.
“I need some time, alone. I need to process this, I can’t have any of you around me, not now, and I just need…” She couldn’t find the words. She needed to get away, she felt like she was suffocating. Ash’s face creased, and then he hung his head low and nodded. He was right; this was something she could leave him for, her chest tightened. The pain had increased tenfold.
She ran into her room and grabbed a duffle bag. She packed a few clothes and her toiletry bag. Her hands moved fast, not bothering to fold. She grabbed her car keys from her night table, then reached into her shoebox and pulled a set of house keys. She ran back out and stopped at the living room. The girls were nowhere insight, but the guys were there, they stood around Ash who was leaning against the couch. Dave was on the couch his fingers intertwined at the back of his neck.
“Where are the girls, I want to say goodbye,” she whispered, trying not to crumble whatever was left of the little sanity they were all holding on to.
“We are right here.” She turned around in response to Ann’s voice. They each had a duffle bag of their own. Maria walked past her and went to the closet. She opened the door, took out their coats and closed it. She walked up to her, handed Lee her coat, and then went past her to Ann, handing her, her coat before she put hers own on. “If you thought you were leaving without us, you are very wrong.”
Billy jumped up. “No, you can’t go with her.” He took the words out of Lee’s mouth, but there was panic at the edge of his voice.
Ann turned to him, cool. “We all need a breather, and we are not going to let our sister go off alone. We’ve been together for close to ten years; we’ve been through so much together. That’s not about to change any time soon.” She turned back to her.
Maria picked up her bag, she gave Joe a light kiss before she went to Lee. “I’ll drive.” With a smile she took the car keys out of her hand and went to the door. She opened it wide and waited for them. Ann had her bag in her hand. She looked at Billy for a few seconds before she took Lee’s hand and pulled her toward the door.
“This is my problem, not yours.” Lee spoke to them when the door closed behind her.
“No, it’s our problem. Let’s go before Maria drives off without us.” She gave Lee a weak smile then walked ahead. She knew she was hurting them. All her problems were becoming a barrier between them and their happiness. She was glad they were with her; she knew she was being selfish, but she really needed them.