The Wrong Choice Chapter 17
GAVIN
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sat back in my chair, leg crossed over my knee. I'd been over the data from Dr. Smith's friend at John’s Hopkins, and while it was promising for my patients, it was troubling to me. Gary Rutger sat across from me, clicking his pen in and out incessantly. His beard still covered with a face mask that clung to the bottom of his chin following a surgery he'd performed, he stared at me with a blank expression.
“I told you a long time ago when you first took this position not to get involved with your patients emotionally. And when I had said that I was referring to investing in their personal lives, you know—caring about them. But this? Gavir this goes way beyond the realm of professionalism.”
I wanted to take the pen and throw it in the bin. “Well, it's not like Madison was my patient.” I lowered my hand, glaring at the clicking pen. “And it wasn't like I went looking for this on purpose.”
“Still... What would the board say?” Click, click, click.
“Can you please stop that?”
“Stop what?” he asked, eyebrows raised. He glanced at the pen and then at my face, laying it down slowly. “Sorry.”
“I asked you for advice. That's why you're here in my office. If you want to berate me, you can leave. I can call my mother for that” I picked up his pen and tossed it across the room. It skittered across the floor, skidding to a stop by the door. Gary grimaced and rolled his eyes.
“Okay, if you want my advice, I suggest you don't tell her. She isn’t the next of kin, and she’s moved on—quite substantially if you are being truthful about your interaction with her. You tell the parents; let them make the decision. It is theirs to make, so you're going through the proper channels.” Gary leaned forward, planting his forearms on my desk. He stared at me while I deliberated.This is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
“And if she gets pissed because I haven't told her again? The last time she blew it off; we weren't really dating yet. But this time? What if she never forgives me?”
I could have asked Jiles or Nick, and maybe I should have. But Gary knew the law, and he knew patients. And now he knew everything about me and Madii—at least the not-so-intimate parts that I was willing to share. He wasn’t my superior, but he was someone I looked up to, even if I thought he was sort of obnoxious at times.
“Well, you got yourself into this mess. You'll have to lie in the bed you made.”
Gary stood, strutting to the door with a cockiness in his step that betrayed his casual, friendly tone. He bent and retrieved his pen, clicking it a few times before sliding it into the chest pocket on his scrubs. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about this.”
He shut the door behind him, leaving me regretting ever saying anything to him. News would get around sooner or later. In fact, Tanya had likely told the nursing staff already, given the fact that she'd seen my interactions with Madii on a number of occasions, and half the floor knew I had lunch with Madison multiple times. It wasn't like it was a secret. I just didn’t want that part getting back to Drew's parents until one of us had a chance to tell them.
I slowly rose, shuffling across the cheap Berber toward the door. As I rounded the end of my desk, I picked up Drew's file. Tanya had all the specifics on the new treatment from John’s Hopkins, but she wanted me there when the news was delivered. She said I had a better “bedside manner” than she did, and felt they'd be more confident with me there. It would, after all, mean brain surgery.
Alice and Henry were hovering by Drew's bedside when I walked in the room. Tanya was not yet there, despite having set an II a.m. meeting with the two of them. They looked up at me as I entered. She looked expectant; he looked worried. They clung to each other's hands. I couldn't tell if it was to hide the shaking Henry's hands were doing, or if it was because Alice needed support.
“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Heintz. Thanks for coming in." I checked the machines’ readouts. Drew's vitals were good, and everything looked normal. Alice looked down at him and I followed her gaze, noticing how sunken in his cheeks were Like every coma patient, he had lost substantial weight. By now his muscles were atrophied and weak.
“You have news?” Henry's eyes hadn't left my face. I raised my gaze back to meet his and gestured for the sofa at the end of the long narrow room. The lights were off, so the sofa sat in the shadows. I flicked the light on as I passed the door, glancing out the window to see if Tanya was coming yet.
“So, I want to wait for Dr. Smith because it was her who initiated this contact.” I sat in the uncomfortable armchair, the leather squeaking as I settled in. “She has a friend at John’s Hopkins who has done some research on coma patients and a new therapy.”
“New therapy? What sort?” Alice joined us, she and Henry sitting closer than sardines in a can, she had her arms wrapped around his bicep, eyes wide. The last thing I wanted to do was give them false hope. Tanya had already lectured me about that, but this new treatment meant a degree of hope would be raised. There was no way to stop that.
“I think I should wait for her. She can explain this to you. I'm really just here as moral support for you, I think” I thumbed through the files in my hand, reading the same numbers I'd been reading for months. Nothing had changec No improvement at all.
“Well, that's true.” Henry's gruff response surprised me. “Smith hasn't been here at all. It’s like the doctors in this place don't give a rip about us. They have nurses checking on us daily, but I haven't seen the doctor here in at least three months. You'd think they would stop in when we're here.”
Alice squeezed his arm tighter. “Now, dear. Don’t get worked up. Okay? Cecil and Pam have just been wonderful, Gavin. And you—oh, precious boy. Thank you for always stopping in and visiting and checking in on us. I realize as a surgeon you never had to do that. But it never went unnoticed.” Alice's eyes sparkled with emotion. “What Henry is trying to say is, we are impatient. If you have answers, why wait?”
I pulled my phone out, hoping to have some sort of text or message from Tanya, but there was nothing. So, I put my phone back in my pocket and sighed.
“Alright. So, the treatment involves a surgery. We implant electrodes into Drew's brain in very strategic places. They send electrical signals to parts of his brain that are showing less activity. Based on the trials and the research, we believe this may awaken those parts of his brain.”
I watched Henry's face go from frustrated to hopeful. But Alice's changed, suddenly more fearful than anything. Her brow creased and her bottom lip quivered.
“And he will wake up?” Henry put an arm around Alice and jostled her in the process. She scrambled for his hand, clinging to it again.
“We aren't certain. During the trials, all of the patients showed improvement, but not all woke up. We can’t predict how Drew will respond. What we do know is that if we do nothing, then nothing will change. This treatment offers a hope that we'll see something improve.” Closing the chart and laying it in my lap, I folded my hands and watched their faces.
Alice's eyes studied me. I tried to read the emotion there, but the only thing I saw was a desperate mother, clawing for a shred of hope that her son would come back. She and Henry locked eyes for a moment and then he turned to me.
“How soon can we do it?”
Just that fast, they both stood, holding hands. I joined them, clutching the file in my hand. I hadn't expected such an abrupt response. Most of my patients’ loved ones had taken time to deliberate and think on it. Two of them still hadn't responded to me yet. But I could see in Henry's eyes the urgency. Watching your loved one die slowly was painful, and I'd given him a new reason to hope. I just prayed that hope would not end up destroying him if it got deferred.
“Now, hold on. We have a bit of prep work to do. We have to ensure he is healthy enough that his body can withstan the surgery. Then we have to run labs to make sure he has no sign of infection. There are some steps.”
Henry walked away but Alice lingered beside me.
“So,” she said, “if he is healthy, how long "til surgery?” She wrung her fingers together, biting her lower lip. I'd seen Madii make that same face so many times I couldn't count. And instantly the thought of Madii made my heart pound “I think about two weeks until the tests are in. Then surgery is just a matter of scheduling the OR. I can do it myself, or we can let Dr. Rutger handle it. Either way, I can be here for you both if you prefer”
Henry bent over Drew's bed, lying across his chest. I could hear the soft cries and turned away. When a man cried, it was a sacred thing. I fixed my gaze on Alice who seemed to also feel the same way.
“Yes, I'd like that. Dr. Rutger is a fine doctor, and you can interpret what he says, you know.” She hooked her arm in mine and led me to the door, glancing over her shoulder at Henry, whose sobs shook the bed.
I lingered for a moment, shutting the door behind us. I wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but I knew Henry needed the privacy. There was still no sign of Tanya in the hallway, and Alice paced like a caged cat. She had her hand pressed to her forehead, nervously saying something under her breath.
“Mrs. Heintz?"
“I told you ages ago to call me Alice.” She stopped and stared at me. “Now, please... I need to know the facts. What are the chances that he wakes up?” Her eyes bored into me, an intensity I'd never seen from her.
“Honestly, Alice, I was being truthful. It's about 50-50. Seventy-seven percent of patients had improvement. Twenty- one percent woke up.” I shifted the file from one arm to the other.
“And the others?”
I shook my head. She didn’t need to know that some of them never made it out of surgery. Even though I didn't say a word, I could see by the look on her face that she knew what I was getting at. She nodded, pressing her hand to her lips. I watched her eyes fill with tears as she stared through the window to Drew's room at Henry, who still lay across Drew's chest.
“Don't tell her”
Confused, I offered her a furrowed brow and squinted eyes.
“Madison.” Alice locked eyes with me, her intent stare haunting. “You can’t tell her. She's so happy now. You haven't seen her like this before, Gavin, so you don’t know. All you've seen of Madison is the depressed shell of the woman she used to be. Since the moment she stopped coming here, she glows. Her life is back. She's happy. If you tell her this, she will be at his side in a heartbeat, waiting, pining... And worst of all, anything that she may have had with you, it will just vanish.”
I wanted to protest, to tell her she was wrong, but deep in my gut I knew she was right. I hadn't ever seen Madison ol her best days, but I'd seen her come out of her hole of misery. I didn’t want her to lose that, not for any reason. I nodded curtly, not able to articulate a response.
“And don't forget that she is a precious treasure that needs to be cherished and loved.” Alice looked down and walked away, shutting herself into Drew's room just as Dr. Smith strolled up.
“You told them?” she asked, watching them through the window as they embraced.
“Yeah... What the hell took you so long?” Nerves got the better of me, my fingers shaking a bit, so I shoved my hand in my pocket.
“Patients.” She rolled her eyes. “You, okay? You look like you've seen a ghost.”
I shrugged. “Some things are harder than others to communicate...” I watched Henry wipe his eyes, then continued. “They're in. Talk to them about testing and prep. Rutger can do the surgery. I need to clear my head.”
Without another word, I walked away. My heart was ready to explode. I wasn't lying to Madii by keeping this secret, especially at the request of Drew's mother, but still it felt wrong. Deceptive.
My shift was over, and I needed air. It was time to hit the court with Nick and Jiles and work off some of this stress before I went crazy.